In celebration of the fact that it is Friday night and I don't feel horrible about the state of the world, I'm writing on my blog instead of going out. This may sound contradictory and somewhat odd, but I have a very heavy class on Fridays from 4:30-7:30, so it usually takes me a day or two to fully process.
Tonight though, Nora just told me she was glad I was in the class because I think about things completely and totally different than she does. And then that made me feel like I was crazy and am going to end up like my Papa Ed or something. Nothing against Papa Ed, but I dunno... or Aunt Lucille. All this crazy hippie blood in me or something. I can't seem to help it that I'm so structural and so anti-Western, anti-neo-liberalism anti-white-privilege. I just don't know what I'm for I guess.
In talking to my dad a few nights ago, I said that this class makes me feel more distanced from everyone else. It makes me think, it makes me process, and critically analyze the world. Heidi calls it "giving things space" and "Living in the contradictions". I feel like it is a process of humanizing. My dad reminded me that that's why I came... to grow as a human. even if it does distance me more from other people who aren't quite as haunted as I seem to be by the bigger questions of the world. And even having the leisure to contemplate Questions that aren't directly related to food, shelter, safety comes from having a place of privilege in society.
Everything about the world that I occupy is almost entirely dictated by Western thought, Western tradition, Western history, colonialism, capitalism, white-over-color ascendency (yay CRT). There is so much more in the world. But if I am the champion of the Other, that is a product of Western thinking as well. I cannot be another white savior. But how do I exist as who I was born as in the context of the questions...
The kids in my class in Kayamandi. They know the following three things about apartheid which ended just before they were born. 1. They weren't allowed to live with their fathers. Families had to live in Eastern Cape. 2. They weren't allowed to go placed without a pass. They couldn't go into King Pie in town to buy fast food. 3. White police shot black people. (and after apartheid)In 1994 we could vote and Nelson Mandela was our president.
There is such a rich history of protest. The ANC despite its corruption and governmental failings has sUUUch a rich history beginning in 1914, I think. What do the kids know about ANC? they know who is for them. They know whether or not their families support them. Maybe I'm romanticizing a brutal history that should not be even partially redeemed. But shouldn't lessons be learned? shouldn't the people of this country be proud of ridding themselves of apartheid? in class today we talked about how TRC basically established that apartheid was wrong, violence was wrong, and that public confessions were cheaper than trials. It did not really address the premise of apartheid. It didn't really ever say, racism is wrong. And structurally in South Africa, not much has changed. There's not space for relationship between races because townships are still townships. The roads still say "NY ###" which stands for Native Yard.
Even in the rememberences of people who died in the struggle, the white martyrs have names, the black ones have locations and numbers. The Gugulethu 7. The Cradock 4.
Amy Biehl an American Fulbright Scholar, who dove, swam, did gymnastics and went to Stanford, was murdered by a mob when she was somewhere she probably shouldn't have been. She was in Gugulethu. She stood for all the right things, but theres a white arrogance in thinking that will save you. Under apartheid, there was no discriminating between a good black person and a bad black person. Both could get shot just as easily for just as irrelevant reasons.
And now history just isn't taught? The schools don't want another angry generation? I don't know.
Yes this has implications for me. and for Fresno. and for the States. I'm not done thinking them through yet though.

Two and a half weeks in...

I have been delaying posting a more thorough analysis of Stellenbosch until I knew more. I realize that I have to start somewhere though, so here goes.
Stellenbosch is an Afrikaaner town. It is one of the last strongholds of Afrikaaner culture in the country. Afrikaans is a language that developed out of the Dutch spoken by the first settlers who came to develop a half-way point on the long trip to India (think Dutch-East Indies Trading Co). Jan Van Riebeck and his wife Maria are celebrated both in Stellenbosch and Cape Town with roads, statues and buildings. Stellenbosch was one of the first settlements in the 1600’s. Its cute. Its quaint. It has beautiful oak lined streets with brick sidewalks. The shops are a bit touristy, but very fashionable and cute. The University itself is a little over a century old, with huge Dutch-colonial buildings, and immaculately managed gardens. Its gorgeous.
The climate is perfect here. Its safe as any college town in the States (don’t walk around by yourself at night, and don’t carry valuables). The only real proof that I’m in a non-western, middle-income country is that the prices are very cheap. The cheapness of eating out and going out serve to contribute further to the paradisical qualities of this bubble. We also do the European thing of buying groceries daily or every other day, which makes it nice as well.
My friends here are mostly from Europe and the States, because we stay in really nice lodgings with extra security, alongside all the other international students. Its hard to get to know South Africans who aren’t on staff, because we hardly ever meet them, and when we do, they’re hardly ever sober. The Afrikaaner boys of Stellenbosch are especially disappointing. They’re perpetually drunk, and fighting. I have met one English (still South African) guy, but after knowing him maybe 5 minutes, he spent the next half hour telling his romantic past, including the part where he walked in on his fiancee and another man.
Another important distinction to note is between the English and the Afrikaaners. They really do not like each other due to a long past of legitimate mistrust. The biggest contention is that during the Boer war (turn of the 20th century), the English invented concentration camps where they put the Afrikaaners (men women elderly children) and tens of thousands of them died. Living in Stellenbosch, I hear a lot more about that sort of drama than the war/struggle at the end of apartheid which happened less than 20 years ago. Interesting side note, Afrikaaners when speaking English say “is it?” where Americans would say “really?”
Classes start tomorrow, which will give some longed for structure to my life. I am taking Afrikaaans, 9 credits of Community Engagement/Theory of Service Learning, and an additional class that I haven’t yet decided on. One option is an amazing class on Societies in Transition (between Violence and Peace). Unfortunately it will be taught on Saturdays, which puts a damper on any adventure plans. The profs are amazing people who I’ve heard talk, and who have LEGIT experience with conflict resolution, mediation, human rights, society building, law, and international organizations. Downside, all the ISOS-arranged activities are on Saturdays. (International Students of Stellenbosch). I could also take a class on economic development which has Bottom Billion, The End of Poverty, and White Man’s Burden as its required texts. It could be good. It could be REALLY good. Or it could be material that I could learn on my own, or have already learned. I haven’t met the professor for it yet. I haven’t heard his/her perspective on development yet.
All in all, my life here moves pretty slow. It takes forever for any paperwork to go through. It takes a lot of patience to wait in queues. It takes a long time for a large group of people to decide anything, including where to go next. If you meet up with people, you spend most of your time standing around and waiting. I get less lost every day, and I have discovered a divine place for gelato.
Average meal: 35 Rand = $3.50
Average drink: 12 Rand = $1.20
Average trip to the grocery store (good food for 2ish days): 80 Rand = $8.00
Life is good.
Much love to you all.
Check out my picasa:
www.picasaweb.google.com/neenydidit

A few days in...

Its beautiful and sunny here in Stellenbosch. If anything, it reminds me of the valley. The water tastes more chlorinated, but then again, I'm not using a fridge or Brita filter, so it might even taste the same. Most of the gardens have the same flowers as home, its the most bizarre thing ever. Like, the exact same flowers.
Its been pretty quiet in Concordia, where I am living, but apparently now that the big group of Americans has arrived, it will get much louder. I have my own bedroom and my own bathroom, and share a living room/kitchen with 3 other flatmates. But they haven't arrived yet, so its mostly just me in a pretty large area. I picked a room with a nice view, and in the morning, I hear all sorts of new bird calls. The pidgeons are more reddish and louder here, but otherwise look like pidgeons.
One boy Sander and I had the same shuttle into Stellenbosch, so we're basically the only people we know. He's Dutch, but he can't understand Afrikaans either. He can read it though. I can sort of read it, and I'm picking more up slowly. Most people speak Afrikaans to us, until we have a confused-enough look on our faces that they switch to English.
All the food is very cheap. its amazing. and the dollar is strengthening, so its now a little more than 10 rand to a dollar. (easier math for my head).
We've gotten somewhat lost multiple times, and I have never really had a good sense of direction, so the rule is, go the exact opposite direction of my first instinct. The University is big and beautiful, and immaculately gardened. The freshmen/first years arrived today, with all their parents in tow, which has been sort of amusing to watch. Once everyone else arrives too, the number of people on campus will probably be overwhelming for a bit. Our orientation starts Wednesday, and we are pretty limited on what we can do before then. There's lots of bureaucracy/paperwork/registration/fees involved with getting internet set up, so I'm writing this out of the Internet cafe in the Neelsie.
So its sort of just like home, except for the wind. There's always a breeze of some sort, and during the night, it gets stronger. Its the crazy-powerful wind of November in Spokane, but warm! There's no AC inside the buildings, but if you keep the windows open, its stays cool. Its blissfully beautiful, but I'm looking forward to Orientation, where I can meet more students, and learn a little bit more about how to get around and where to go. Also, it'll be nice to have my ISEP money set up, so I can use that for food instead of my money.
I feel like this post is pretty disjointed. I was hoping that as I adjusted my prose would flow a little easier, but I guess I am not yet to that point. Much love to the Western world.