Two Birds with One Stone

I have just figured out how to type a blog in Microsoft word, and have it be automatically published. This means that you all will now be reading my weekly reflections for my Service-Learning and Community Development class. Sorry if there's specific vocabulary, but I don't think there should be. I could also go back and post some other reflections… hm. Endless possibilities here. Anyways, I have to write my journals in Microsoft Word so that there aren't stupid grammar or spelling mistakes, but then copy paste them into Blackboard, so I might as well let you read them too. Here goes….

"This week is the start of your proposed activity and in some cases a continuance of the activity. Your reflection should cover the start of your activity and how it went. You could also reflect on a one-one relationship that influences the CD process you participate in. In question 2, relate your incident to planning and implementation or the helping relationship. When choosing the latter, you may also relate to communication."

Carefully read the instructions about the theme for this week's journal, before attempting this question. (these instructions are available on the journal webpage and above. Question 1: Using the DEAL model of reflection and the critical incident approach, describe the most important activities and interactions (incidents) during your service at your site of placement today (this week), as it relates to the theme of this particular journal. Why was it important? How did you feel during and after the incident(s) and why did you feel that way? (See identifiable feelings tabled below). Also describe any other feelings or reactions you experienced at your placement site today (this week).

The past week or so, I have been getting frustrated with our volunteers. I feel like they participate and engage when its homework time or planned activity time, but anytime there aren't clear specific instructions, they disengage. This means that they tend to spend the 5-15 minutes before we start just staring into space while the kids at their table chat around them. This also happens at snack time and when the kids finish their activities. It's most frustrating though, during the physical activity time. We (Mike, Andy, Bibi, Me) have kept trying to stress the importance of interacting, and getting excited about the games. There are always people sitting out though. Any time I go talk to them, the group of kids who've finally been corralled (by me and 1-2 other volunteers) to all be in the same place immediately start to scatter. So my decision so far has just been to focus on the kids and play the games with the few volunteers who do participate. It doesn't set a good example, and then the grade 8 volunteers sit out, and then the grade 7 learners sit out. I can talk the grade 8s and 7s back into the games a lot quicker than the volunteers, but I'm getting tired of always having to do the same thing.

I was lamenting this to a Dutch friend who isn't in Kayamandi Project, and then I realized, he's never been to summer camp. I asked him if there were ever any opportunities for Dutch students (expanding to Europeans as a whole) to reach out to younger kids in a leadership type role. He said "no, why would we?". He hasn't heard of or experienced day camps, community service, mentoring, tutoring, or any other similar activity. I was immersed in these activities since I was 8 or 9, so its second nature to me to have a friend/leader role with kids who are younger than me. I hadn't thought about the cultural differences between me as an American and the European volunteers. I then thought about all the volunteers. Some of them are really good, but they're mostly American (with a few amazing Europeans). I then realized how American my paradigm of what makes a good volunteer is. I don't really have any alternatives at the moment, but that realization has helped me be a little more patient this week. I also will keep this in mind as I make my material for the prototype-training in a few weeks. I will also try to be on the lookout for different non-American ways to have positive interactions with the kids. Some volunteers may just be better at interacting with kids than others.

When the grade 8s and I made the contract, it was mostly 2 of the girls contributing, They were all sitting, listening, and agreeing with each other (which is victory in itself after an afternoon working with the grade 7s), but not really contributing. We came up with a well-rounded contract, so that was fine with me at the time. I told them to talk about it with each other after the program on Thursday. This week, one girl reported back and said that the other three weren't participating when as a group they were discussing it. I'm not sure what to do about it. Its hard to get quality time with the grade 8s (especially the three in Bibi's classroom), because if I step out of the physical activity time, the volunteers need to run at least one courts' physical activities. It would be good for them to do that more, as long as it actually happens. I guess if I gave a bit of a warning, and equipped them with the rules of the game, maybe practiced explaining it with them, and otherwise empowered them, it would work better. Its definitely a little more awkward doing that with my peers than if I was doing it with the grade 8 volunteers, or seventh graders. I think if I spent more time (maybe 1 afternoon a week) with the grade 8 helpers, we would have better communication and buy in. This isn't really about the contract, its more about what the contract experience showed.

My most influential one-to-one relationship is with Nomandla (not her real name), one of the grade 8 helpers. She communicates most freely with me, and is really good at critically analyzing situations. She also explains things to me about the schools and our students. She's so helpful. Yesterday she told me that her mom got married last weekend, and that her dad had only died last year, but her mom was secretly 2 months pregnant. So mom's moving to the town of the husband, and Nomandla is moving in with her older sister. She talked about being scared about her stepfather abusing or raping her, not because of anything about him, but because it's so statistically likely. She also talked about not liking the fact that her mom was keeping secrets from her, or that she was moving on so quickly. I didn't know what to say. It was a lot of information all at once, but more than that, I didn't know what advice to give her. If someone in America told me this, I would tell them that their stepdad probably wasn't so bad, and that they should give it some time to get to know each other. I didn't say that here. The statistics are just so high. I think her mom knows it too, which is why Nomandla is moving in with her sister. I feel sorry for her, and I feel bad, but I mostly feel useless. I did feel happy that she confided in me, though. Sometimes I wonder how much of this is about keeping kids safe for just a few more hours every day.

 

Question 2: This question relates back to your knowledge base (prior knowledge and experience, course readings and current research you undertake) and how this helps to inform you to understand your answer in the previous question. The instruction for this question is therefore to 'step back' from your experience and analyze as objective as possible the reasons for your feelings during the experience at the site. Relate experiences and observations to specific concepts and theories you learned in class or in classes prior to coming to South Africa. (Use the theme and specific readings referred to in the description of this journal on the journal web page as guideline.

In question 2, relate your incident to planning and implementation or the helping relationship. When choosing the latter, you may also relate to communication."

When the grade 8 girls and I were writing their contract, we also talked about Kayamandi Project as a whole, and the entire spectrum of volunteers. It was a really good starting place for my planned activity, but I still hadn't figured out how to involve them in the entire process of training. I want to do that now, but am wondering how badly the international student volunteers will take it. I'm also wondering if there's enough time. In regards to the project as a whole, a really important concept is that planning and implementation are mutually dependant activities that are continually happening. Even as I think about this one event, a mid-year review with additional training, its important to remember that all the participants are constantly learning new ways of interacting and communicating. Although there is a perceived need for more training, experience has been training everyone all along. I can also guide the process in the meantime. In regards to the training event, it will be a space for everyone to contribute and plan for next semester's group. I also want to provide special space for the grade 8 volunteers in the pre-event planning process and in the event itself.

In regards to the frustration with disengaging volunteers, I think we need better communication between everyone. Although I do try to check in with as many volunteers as possible throughout the day, the conversations don't go deep, and there's not really the space to sit down and talk about participating in the less structured time. There can be at my event, but I think it should be more integrated. I think it's a symptom of a larger confusion or unfamiliarity or something. I'm not quite sure, though. With better communication, we could at least figure out why it was happening, even without a definite solution.